One of the reasons I don’t get on with goals too well is that I become so preoccupied with the outcome, I take very few steps towards achieving the goal. I’m more concerned with fantasising about the goal and planning the goal, I rarely get round to the doing.

The trick I’ve found is to enjoy each step in the moment of taking it, so much so that I almost forget the goal. Whether you’re taking the steps or not, time will pass. Time always passes regardless of what we’re doing. The past is just memories and the future is just imagination. The now is the now. The present moment is real life. I suppose I get stuck between working hard to achieve what I want and the notion that things will always fall into place.

There’s a huge difference between living in the moment and the now as opposed to living in the world as it could be and is perceived by, what I can only assume is the vast majority. The people that do the same shit, day in, day out. Get up, morning routine, go to work, stress out or simply don’t care and just go through the motions. I mean, let’s be honest, most businesses don’t really give a shit about their staff happiness and life balance as long as those people are getting the job done to a degree of “satisfactory”. That is how I think most people live and what they aspire to. A degree of satisfactory. A level of bearable mediocrity. Do I think this is wrong? Yeah, I do! We are capable of so much more. If you’re happy in the world you’ve created for yourself, then I am not here to judge. I am happy you’re happy.

I reckon the 3 most important factors for a good standard of happiness are what you do for a living, where you live and the company you keep. If you can nail 2 of those, you’re winning. If you have all 3, I want to meet you and get lessons please!

What is evident to me though in day to day life is that most people have a job that they either hate or that they just do because they have to. They still live in the town they grew up in despite wanting to move somewhere amazing or quaint or whatever it is they long for. This will usually be because of attachments they’ve built with people or houses, old friends from school or new friends they’ve made at work. Each average situation kind of governs the others in some sort of weird little triangle of mediocrity, normality and social conformity.

I must sound terribly judgemental and scathing in what I’m saying but this is because no part of me wants any part of this perfunctory existence.

If anyone feels happy in what I’ve described then, great! I mean really happy though, not just ok. I mean filled with joy daily.

I hate having to do the same shit, day in, day out, for someone else. It’s time I started doing shit for me.





One thought on “Tense

  1. I feel exactly the same way. With fantasizing about goals rather than carrying them out (I don’t have much self discipline yet), with the unbearable dullness of a perfunctory existence, everything. Ive always wanted to move beyond my hometown and achieve a successful writing career that allows me to travel and enjoy my life. Slowly but surely…one story/publisher at a time…

    Liked by 1 person

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